


Cliche

by Rivulet027



Category: Angel: the Series
Genre: Dark, F/M, Grief, Self-Hatred, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-21
Updated: 2011-08-21
Packaged: 2017-10-22 22:09:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/243094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rivulet027/pseuds/Rivulet027
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the events of Peace Out Conner makes a decision and talks it over with Cordy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cliche

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with AtS. It's not my toy box and I'm merely playing.
> 
> A/N: Spoilers up to Peace Out. The story is like the title, one big angsty cliché. I realize that the ending it laughable for it probability ratio. The church with Cordy reminded me of Romeo and Juliet and I just went that way and that's why the ending is the way it is. Love to Meggles who orginally pushed me to post this on ff.net.
> 
> Warning: Char death. Suicide is never the answer, if you're contemplating it please talk to someone. I've lost a friend to suicide and even though its been years, it still hurts.

"It's never over," Conner told her slowly, softly, "It's all a stupid cliché, isn't it? A stupid fairy-tale type cliché where the hero, the champion, always wins and in the end always gets the girl?

You never loved me.

It was all a lie, as everything in my life has been a lie. I realize that now. It's always going to be the lies for me, never rest, never peace.

So what's the point?

Isn't this the part where you wake up and give me a happy ending? Isn't it Cordy? I'd take a fairy-tale cliché if I could have one...

But that would be a lie too wouldn't it? Because Conner never gets a happy ending does he? Does he? I'm not allowed one. I don't deserve one. The only thing I'm allowed is more lies...more pain...and more hate.

Hatred burning inside me so deep there's no room left for love, and all I wanted was love. I wanted someone to look at me as if I matter, as if I was special, as if I meant something to them, to the world. To know that I'm not an abomination, that I made for...for...Jasmine said I was made to create her...and before I admitted to myself that her lies where the type I couldn't follow I felt as if I belonged. For that brief time before Fred ran I belonged. Cordy I belonged.

I should have know it wouldn't last, for me it never does. The belonging with Angel and everyone else and having a purpose...it was just another lie.

I finally found the truth, Cordy. Do you want to know what it is?

I am an abomination. I was made for lies, and for pain, and for hate.

For me there can be nothing else.

A-and I can't do it anymore.

I killed her, Cordy. I killed Jasmine, our child. I killed the reason I was put here. I-I took my fist and I slammed it right through her head.

Do you know why?

I did it for you, be-because I love you.

I want you to wake up and be happy.

And I don't make you happy. You don't love me. You can't.

No one can love someone who is only a lie.

But Angel...

my Father...he's more that that and he's always the hero, the champion...he's everything I will never get to be and he will always get the girl. And this time you're the girl.

Unfortunately for me some fairy-tale clichés are true. I see that now."

With those words he had reached her. Slowly Conner lowered the veil covering Cordelia's face.

"I love you," he choked, the tears slowly streaking paths down his face.

"So I saved him for you. A-and I hope that you wake up. A-and I hope you two are happy. I hope you find what you were fighting for."

He ran his hand slowly down her face as he looked down at her, a bittersweet smile tugging at his face. The tears fell from his face onto hers.

"Do you think its a lie that death brings peace, rest?" he asked softly.

"I'm going to find out. I do know of something that can kill me, I learned it from..that's not even important is it? I just know that it should kill me...

its a special poison...

that I have, now and will use because I can't stand the lies anymore. I just can't stand the pain or the hate. Th-this one finale act is all that I have left. It might possibly be the only truth I'll ever get to touch."

He bent and kissed her softly on the lips, his tears still falling onto her face. He took three steps back and raised the vial he'd prepared to his lips and while he drank he begged that it wasn't a lie, that he would find death in the liquid.

Cordelia lay quiet, peaceful. A soft kiss touched her lips and it was the first thing she felt, she as herself, in a long time. Conner's tears ran down into her eyes and she stirred. She woke and sat slowly, wearily taking in her surroundings.

Shocked Conner stumbled backwards, the vial dropping from his fingers to clatter to the floor.

Immediately Cordelia turned to take him in. Confused she said his name, right before the poison he'd drunk did what it was promised to do and he turned to dust.


End file.
